Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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