I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
