i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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