i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
