I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize