so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
