I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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