Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
