do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
