OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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