I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
