those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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