I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
