I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize