When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
