i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
