am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
