____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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