the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
