everyone is single if you try hard enough
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize