At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
