Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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