my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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