remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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