I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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