Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize