I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
