i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
