What did we do last night that was yellow?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
