Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Kiss
Puke
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
