Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
