We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
