I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
