Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I am spending my child support on dildos
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just had sex on a roof
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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