OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
