Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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