I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
