You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
