I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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