I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
