I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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