margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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