Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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