you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
being pregnant is like rehab
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
