We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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