I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Your penis caused this!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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