I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
