Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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