she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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