Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
