Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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