brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
where are my eyebrows?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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