i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
