If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
