She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
