THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
