So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
be right there i have to get my cape
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
