omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
